Because I am...(not?)

[A pretty amateur attempt...putting some flow of thoughts...]

When people lose hope...I wonder why lose faith...because that's what I am...(not?)
When people give up in desperation...I wonder why not make it work...because that's what I am...(not?)
When people laugh at my attempts...I wonder why not move ahead...because that's what I am...(not?)
When I try again and again with no results...I wonder why failure is a big deal...because that's what I am...(not?)
When I try to solve a problem...I wonder why an unusual solution is bad...because that's what I am...(not?)
When I fall flat with my mistakes...I wonder why can't I learn lessons from them...because that's what I am...(not?)
When I finally get some success...I wonder why I feel that's not a big deal...because that's what I am...(not?)
When 'I' lose faith...I turn to God...questioning myself...I wonder why?...because that's what I am...(not?)

When I question myself...wondering why I can't identify who I am...because I am...(not?)